How it started

It finally happened. That rock bottom they tell you you hit that makes you finally say I can’t keep doing this. I think I hit it and bounced. I was so desperate to get away from the drugs, away from the people away from the whole situation. I let my bipolar disorder go unchecked and uncontrolled until it was dangerous. Extreme highs and lows, no self control, extreme risky behavior, hallucinations, voices. I tried every possible thing I could think of to get myself away from here and out of the situation. None of it worked out I was still stuck here. I can’t be stuck here this place is eating me alive. I was convinced I was going to die if I stayed here. I thought stealing a large sum of money from my aunt was the solution I told myself that she’d understand if I just explained it. I took what I needed and ran. And for the first time in a long time I felt like I could finally breathe, it’s over now. I started laughing it started out as just a light chuckle and quickly just erupted into hysterical laughter which quickly changed into screaming, back to laughter them more screaming, at some point I had started crying. In no time I was full-blown sobbing. I’m on the highway doing maybe 40 mph sobbing hysterically while laughing and screaming. It was like I was feeling every emotion I’ve ever had all at once. Over the next 3 months I would make amazing strides. I stopped doing the drugs. I was sober for the first time in 5 years. I went to work everyday without any issues. I started seeing my doctors again and treating my bipolar. I established myself a home. I finally stopped living out of my backpack and sleeping with my car keys around my neck. Then one day the police showed up. And it was over from there. The police were charging me with theft. Within a couple hours my job would inform me that they were terminating me. And my landlord would evict me from my apartment. I lost everything in 2 days I managed to make my situation even worse than it was before. I finally broke down and made the call. I need help, I don’t want to do the drugs anymore they are ruining everything.